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2/24/10

What a day!

Being parents to a micropreemie is not easy. I have heard that parenting a preemie is much different than a full term baby. Even though Camden was a 35 weeker, he is now a full term baby to me. That statement is so right! You worry the same, but there is something else there. You are constantly worried about the choices you as parents are making. Wondering if the decisions you make are the right ones. You look at milestones in a whole different light. Same excitement but also some relief. We want to the best we can for Ailyn, and sometimes trying to figure out the best thing is not very easy. Very stressful in fact. I have been asked how we are still so strong, after all we have been through so much. To be honest, I have NO clue how. I know that I am barely hanging on some days. Having to be home bound all day, all night, everyday, for over 6 months wears on you. I know we still thank God every single day we have Ailyn here with us. We know how extremely lucky we are to have our Strawberry. That being said..... it's been a very tough journey so far. I pray we are making the best choices possible for Ailyn.
Ailyn has had a long week of appointments from therapy, GI to an eye appointment. Therapy is going great! Her OT has been over twice since the surgery and has noticed a difference already. Her suck is a lot better. She even makes new sounds with her tongue, it's pretty funny. The GI appointment didn't go as well. They are not happy with her weight gain, and she has dropped some on the preemie chart. This is the first time that she has dropped off "Ailyn's" growth chart. We are talking with her pediatrician, GI, therapists and nutritionist to come up with a plan. We have tried going up to a 30 calorie formula and she couldn't handle it. So we are exploring our options. There is a possibility Ailyn will need a gtube. A gtube is a feeding tube surgically inserted in her belly. We all agree to give the tongue a good 3 weeks to work better. We notice a difference in her feedings but not a huge change yet. She still struggles with feedings. It breaks our hearts to see her have a hard time. (no solids yet!! It's just empty calories and not enough nutrition)
Ailyn will be having eye surgery in late spring. The eye doctor said her eyes are worse than 4 weeks ago. Since Ailyn didn't start crossing her eyes until 5 months old, he wants to wait until she is over a year for the surgery. He has seen preemies (who didn't cross eyes from birth) correct themselves. He increased her patching to 2 hours a day. That is not going to be very easy, but it will get done ;) The doctor also is talking with her pediatrician about having an MRI done to rule out anything neurological before surgery.
Want a good update?? Yeah, me too! Ailyn has been so fun lately. All 3 of us have been enjoying her so much. I will walk into a room and Camden will have Ailyn giggling so hard. She is rolling very well now. Today I put her on the floor and went it the other room, I came back to her half way across the room. She is going to have one tough head, my head hurts every time she hits the wood floor!

If you have listened to me vent for the past two days THANK YOU! If you have given me advice, THANK YOU! If you are sick of listening to me vent but put up with me, THANK YOU! I really do appreciate the support.
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2/22/10

We got a roller!

Ailyn rolled from her back to her belly on Saturday. It didn't take her long to figure out she can roll to a toy or do multiple rolls to get off her blanket!
There she is in action! She was just rolling left but after her session with her OT (she works with gross motor too) she was rolling to the right too! The gates are going up tonight :)
Ailyn's eyes are getting much worse. Now both eyes cross and can never stay strait. She goes to the eye doctor on Wednesday. We are thinking she will need the surgery in the near future. We patch her eye for one hour a day. She can now take off the patch by herself and try to eat it. Her perception is really off. When she reaches for a toy, she waves her hands at it first before being able to grab it.
The poor thing has always rubbed her eye. She will get her fingers IN her eye! We have to pull her hand away. She will have scratches near her eye. Her therapist brought up a good point....she may rub it because her vision is off or she is seeing double. So hopefully we can get her help soon.
My first sign of spring was taken away from me. Right after I took this picture, some animal ate my daffodils !! Where there were sprouts are nice big holes. I am not happy!

Ailyn has been eating better since her surgery. She still takes awhile to eat but she is faster. She also has been drinking about a good 4 ounces more a day. So I would say we are on the right track with getting her to eat more and better!
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2/18/10

Happy 10 Months!

HAPPY 10 Months to our Strawberry!!! Above is a picture of when we first got to hold her at 2 weeks old. It seems surreal that it was 10 months ago! I am not ready for her to be one years old!
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2/17/10

Update

I wanted to give everyone an update on Ailyn. Many friends/family are asking how she did through the night. Thank you.

I stopped Tylenol last night at 6pm. I wasn't about to wake her at 10pm for another dose. I figured if she woke up crying, I could give it to her. She slept from 9pm- 8:30am!!! Only waking at 5am for a feeding, which she slept through.

You would never know she had surgery yesterday. She woke up smiling and growling at me.

I do notice she has a better grip on the bottle AND she took her last bottle in record time!! 10 MINUTES! And, since she ate so fast, she is hungry for more!

Ailyn is yelling at me for attention, thank you for asking!!
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2/16/10

Surgery Day

Ailyn is one tough little girl....but we already knew that! She did very well in surgery today.
A huge thank you to our babysitter for sleeping over last night so we could leave super early! We had to be at the hospital at 5:30am. Ailyn ate at 11:45pm and slept until 7:00am!! She only cried for a bottle for about 10 minutes before they took her back.
Daddy went back with Ailyn to hold her hand while they put her to sleep. I was traumatized doing this with Camden so I was very happy Aaron was ok with it. No longer than 12 minutes after Aaron walked out of the OR, the doctor was done the procedure. She didn't have to use a lot of anesthesia. They kept her for 2 hours in recovery. She was all smiles right away. The nursed asked if she was always this happy.....yes!
The picture above is Ailyn fake coughing. She thinks she is very funny when she does it.
We have to keep her on the apnea monitor for 24 hours. We have been home for about 5 hours now. The pain killers are starting to wear off, but we are giving her Tylenol every 4 hours. She is talking to her brother right now and happy as can be. Let's hope this lasts! We are tired!!
(there are new videos ;)) Thank you so so much for all the thoughts and prayers.
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2/13/10

Cabin fever

I have been stuck in the house for 5 days. It's not new to go this many days without leaving the house but I cabin fever is setting in. I was secretly happy that the whole state was home bound with me. I have to keep telling myself that keeping Ailyn home is the best thing. After all she is now 10 months and has not had one cold. I must say I am very proud of that!! I wish I could see an end....but with 4 feet of snow on the ground, that's isn't happening anytime soon!

Ailyn is having surgery on Tuesday. Our babysitter, God bless her, is coming at 4:30am to watch Camden. It's going to be a challenge not feeding Ailyn from 12am to 8am!!! Not sure how that is going to work yet. There is ANOTHER snow storm on it's way Monday night, so there is a chance the surgery will be canceled.

Ailyn's little personality is really starting to show. It's so fun to see. I had Sprout on and Barny came on, Ailyn broke out in a dance and started clapping!!!! It was the cutest thing. She will be crying, then stop and start dancing. Separation anxiety is definitely starting. She is not happy if anyone other than Mommy and Daddy hold her. Makes us feel good :)

I will update on Tuesday after the surgery. If you want to call, we should be home by late afternoon. Please say prayers for our little Strawberry.

(Thank you again Auntie for the Mommy/Daddy pillow, it's a huge hit, and I like that he chose my side ;) )
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2/11/10

Real LIfe #7 and a Thank You

A HUGE HUGE THANK YOU to Christine for driving all the way downtown to pick up Ailyn's medicine. She doesn't live close to us, she went out of her way to help us. We live down a long driveway and we have to have a plow, plow us out. And, well....he is nowhere in sight. Christine was able to park in the parking lot next to us and she threw the medicine to me. So thank you Christine. Ailyn is very grateful.

(and please remind me to paint the wood this summer ;) )
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2/10/10

Round Two!

The blizzard has intensified over us and dumping more snow on us than predicted. We prepared ourselves to be stuck inside with water, batteries, food, diapers, formula. I thought I was all set....until I went to give Ailyn her Previcid today and realized she has one dose left. I know I was thinking we would be able to get downtown on Thursday...... nope. Most likely the pharmacy will be closed tomorrow. Not sure what to do yet. I am thinking of calling a doctor on call and asking to call in Zantac. Unfortunately her Previcid has to made downtown. So I think I will be begging anyone with 4 wheel drive to help. And, why did I trade my SUV in again??
We haven't lost power yet but just heard they won't send out anybody to help. So much for being on the priority list. Ailyn's apnea monitor has a 12 hour battery on it.
Can you tell I am not thrilled? And, if this isn't bad enough.....there is another snowstorm heading towards us on Monday. Ailyn's surgery is Tuesday. Greeaaat. We moved away from this white stuff!!!
It's nice having our Daddy home with us though! And, it sure is pretty out....
But, I am ready for spring. Not sure if you knew that or not.


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2/6/10

2010 Snowstorm

This is insane!! We have not had a winter like this since we moved here 10 years ago. We are stuck in our house until the plow comes and he comes to us last. At least we have our Daddy to be home bound with now ;) Enjoy the pictures! We are all headed to bed super early, we are worn out!




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2/3/10

Real Life #6

This is my Real Life picture of the week. I actually am on time too! I chose this picture because I feel like mother nature is laughing in my face right now. That dang ground hog says 6 more weeks of winter???? I woke up to snow today and another storm is on it's way this weekend....and not a small one!!! But, it sure is pretty!
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2/2/10

She did it!!

Ailyn sat over 12 seconds for her therapist today!!! She has been working really hard at trying everyday. I am so proud of my little nugget!!
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2/1/10

Check up x2

WOOO HOOO! Another month down!!!
Camden and Ailyn had their check ups today. Camden weighs 34 pounds!! and is 40 inches!! He is in the 50% for height and 25% for weight. He is very healthy, and answered all the questions he was asked. Other than his phone number, he knew them all. Note to self...teach Camden his phone number!
(I was just told that those %'s dont match up, they should be less....I did think they seemed high, thank you Age Mommy to another peanut)
Ailyn had her RSV shot :( That shot is brutal. Aaron and I made a bet last night on her weight. We were both convinced she was over 12 pounds. Well....almost. 11 pounds 8 ounces. She is 24 inches. Still teeny tiny ;) Her pediatrician was happy with her 1 pound weight gain since December 30th. He was thrilled Ailyn has not had any colds yet. (knock on wood, please) AND, of course I had to ask when we can get off house arrest. He said we will see about April but we will be "ready to party" in May.
Her ped. agreed we should do the surgery on her tongue. Which is planned for February 16th. He doesn't think it will help with all the feeding issues but agrees that it doesn't hurt to try. This made me feel better that he is on our side too.
Last night was the baby Dugger special. The 19th baby for the Duggers was born at 25 weeks, weighing 1pnd 6 ounces. At first I wasn't going to watch it. Then curiosity got the best of me. From the very start of the show, I had tears in my eyes. It brought back so many emotions. What really made me break was seeing baby Dugger come out pink, crying and moving her arms and legs. If you recall, Ailyn was born blue and not "alive" she had to be resuscitated. I had Ailyn in my arms and looked down at her, she looked up at me. I wanted to call the doctor and nurses that were there that day and say thank you all over again. If it weren't for them, Ailyn would not be here with us today.
As much as I hated keeping Camden and Ailyn away from each other in the NICU I thought it was VERY smart of our NICU doctor to make a NO CHILDREN rule. We were allowed 4 of the same visitors the whole time she was in the NICU. I respected this rule because kids are petri dishes and carry so many germs. Well.... the Duggers had 20+ children, babies, teenagers and adults standing around this teeny tiny fragile baby!!!!!! I hope that was the one and only time they were able to visit....their baby just had RSV last year! (the picture above shows Ailyn's tongue and how it's "tied" I was happy to get this!)

Overall, I liked how they did the show. I was worried they would make out having such a tiny baby "fun". I was worried they were going to downplay what we as parents of micropreemies go through in the NICU. But, they were very sincere when they said it was hard to see their baby so tiny and struggle to survive. Not that I didn't think they thought that way....I was just worried how TV would make it out to be. I went to bed crying, but it was a good cry. I needed that cry. It reminded me that we are doing well now and Ailyn is thriving the best way she can right now.
I had the sweetest Mommy moment ever during the show. I let Camden watch the show with me. Aaron came in for the delivery but chose to leave right away, saying it was too tough to watch. As Camden and I watched, we talked about how Ailyn was that tiny, and how she had to stay on all the machines to help her breathe. I looked down and Camden was holding Ailyn's hand. I have never felt prouder of Camden. He is such an amazing big brother. I know they will have a strong bond, regardless of being so far apart.
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